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The Austere Academy Snicket, Lemony/ Snicket, Lemony (NRT) 1 of 1
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Learn more about The Austere Academy:

Format:  CD
ISBN-10: 0060566191
ISBN-13: 9780060566197
Sku: 33794722
Publish Date: 4/10/2007
Pages:  2
Age Range:  13 to 16
 
If you were going to give a gold medal to the least delightful person on Earth, you would have to give that medal to a person named Carmelita Spats, and if you didn't give it to her, Carmelita Spats was the sort of person who would rip it from your hands anyway. (from the first line)
WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...

Dear Listener,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.

Don't.

For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else.

With all due respect,

LEMONY SNICKET

From the Publisher:
As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.

WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP...

Dear Listener,

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school.

Don't.

For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system.

It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else.

With all due respect,

LEMONY SNICKET

As their outrageous misfortune continues, the Baudelaire orphans are shipped off to a miserable boarding school, where they befriend the two Quagmire triplets and find that they have been followed by the dreaded Count Olaf.
Annotation:
The fifth book in the wildly popular Series of Unfortunate Events finds siblings Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire at possibly the worst boarding school in existence. Severe punishments, forced violin concerts, comprehensive exams, and the metric system all become a daily part of their wretched, shack-dwelling lives. The orphans' hopes are raised when they meet the kind and like-minded Quagmire triplets, but their friendship is cut short by the very person the Baudelaires wish to avoid.
Author Bio
Lemony Snicket
Lemony Snicket is the notorious pen name of Daniel Handler, author of the enormously popular, extremely funny Series of Unfortunate Events books. Handler went to Wesleyan University, and resides in the city of his birth, San Francisco. Under his name, he has written adult novels, including THE BASIC EIGHT, WATCH YOUR MOUTH, and ADVERBS.

Lemony Snicket is the notorious pen name of Daniel Handler, author of the enormously popular, extremely funny Series of Unfortunate Events books. Handler went to Wesleyan University, and resides in the city of his birth, San Francisco. Under his name, he has written adult novels, including THE BASIC EIGHT, WATCH YOUR MOUTH, and ADVERBS.

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